PS 

^1i 




LEEDLE YAWCOB STRAUSS. 



AND OTHER POEMS. 



kSt 



By CHARLES F. ADAMS. 



iit]) Siitg^be Ellustrattons 

By "BOZ." 




BOSTON: 
LEE AND SHEPARD, PUBLISHERS. 

NEW YORK: 

CHARLES T. DILLINGHAM. 

1878. 



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Copyright, 1877, 
Bv CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS. 




ELECTROTYPED Bt 
a J. PETKR8 & SON, 
73 Federal Stkekt, » 

BOSTON. 



PREFACE. 



It is with some misgivings that the author, at the solicita- 
tion of many, perhaps over-zealous friends, has ventured to 
place this little volume before the public. The writer, 
moving only in the mercantile world, feels that he has wan- 
dered into forbidden ground, and craves the indulgence of 
the literati for these attempts to "woo the Muse" during 
the few leisure hours allowed to members of his vocation. 

With the invaluable co-operation of " Boz " (Mr. M. J. 
Sweene}'), — w^hose happy delineations form a prominent fea- 
ture of attraction, — the author expresses the hope that this 
volume ma}' meet with the kind!}' reception that has been 
accorded to man}' of the individual selections which have 
appeared from time to time in our local papers, " Scribner's 
Monthly," " Detroit Free Press," and other publications. 



PREFACE. 

Thrit its onulitios may bo oxt'iisoil by ronsoii of tho 

\viitcM''s non-familiarity with matters so foreign to his daily 

routine of business life, and that "• Leedle Yaweob " and 

his companions may ser\e to while away a leisure hour for 

the casual reader, is the wish of the author. 

CHARLES FOLLEN ADAMS, 
Bo8Ti)N, November, 1877. 




CONTENTS. 



I'AOK 

Yawcob Strauss 11 

a iilgiily-coloukd romanck ig 

To Bary Jade .22 

TiiK Puzzr.r.i) Dhtciiman ...... 27 

L-K-(i ON A MULK 30 

Economy 33 

Pat's Criticism 30 

Ravenous Rill 41 

SiioNNY Schwartz 47 

A Tale of a Nose 50 

To a Dressmaker 53 

Yankee Shrewdness 55 

Lofac Gl 

Deu Drummer G3 

Repartee G8 

7 



CONTENTS. 

fuitz und i ........ . 70 

Intkmpkuanck . . ....... 75 

liiTTLK Tim's IIkvknok 77 

Dot Bauy off Mink 82 

John liAui.EY-couN, My Fok 88 

Hans and Fuitz 91 

SkQUF.L to TIIK " ()NK-lIoa.SK 81IAV " .... 96 

Woman 100 

ZwEi Lageu 102 

A Tough Customek 106 

Dot Poodi.f, Doo 109 

Misi'LACKi) Sympathy 115 

Vot I LiKK UNI) Don'd Likk 119 

The Widow Malone's Pig 123 

A Trapper's Story 128 

Johnny Judkins l'^4: 

The Lost Pet. . 110 

The Soldier's Grave M6 




' cj^^^^fk]^\\l 



"I floincdiiiicH (liiilt I Hcliall ^o vihi 
Mil Hooch a gra/.y poy." — I'Aiin 16. 







YAWCOB STRAUSS. 



I HAF von funny lecdle poy, 

Vot gomes schust to mine knee ; 

Der queerest schap, der Greatest rogue, 
As efer you dit see. 

He runs, und schumps, und schmashes dings 
In all barts off der house : 

But vot off dot? he vas mine son, 

Mine leedle Yawcob Strauss. 
11 



TAWCOB STRAUSS. 

He get der measles und der mumbs, 
Und eferyding dot's oudt ; 

He sbills mine glass off lager bier, 
Foots schnufF indo mine kraut. 




He fills mine pipe mit Limburg cheese, — 

Dot vas der roughest chouse : 
I'd dake dot vrom no oder poy 

But leedle Yawcob Strauss. 

13 



YAWCOB STBAUSS. 

He dakes der milk-ban for a dhrum, 
Und cuts mine cane in dwo, 

To make der schticks to beat it mit, 
Mine cracious, dot vas di'ue ! 




I dinks mine bed vas schplit abart, 
He kicks oiip sooch a touse : 

But nefer mind ; der poys vas few 
Like dot young Yawcob Strauss. 

13 



TAWCOB STRAUSS. 

He asks mc questions sooch as dcse: 
Who baints mine nose so red? 

Who vas it cuts dot schmoodth blace oudt 
Vrom der hair ubon mine hed? 




Und vhere der plaze goes vrom der lamp 

Vene'er der ghm I douse. 
How gan I all dose dings eggsblain 

To dot schmall Yawcob Strauss? 

14 



YAWCOB 8TBAUS8. 

I somedimes dink I schall go vild 

Mit sooch a grazy poy, 
Und vish vonce more I gould haf rest, 

Und beaceful dimes enshoy; 




But ven he vas ashleep in ped, 

So guiet as a mouse, 
I prays der Lord, " Dake anyding, 

But leaf dot Yawcob Strauss." 



15 



A HIGHLY-COLORED ROMANCE. 



Ben Green was a Ncw-IIampshirc boy, 
Who stood full six feet two : 

A jovial chap this same Ben (jireen, 
Though he had oft been blue. 

He loved a girl named Olive Brown, 
Who lived near Bixby's pond, 

And who, despite her brunette name, 
Was a decided blonde. 

10 




A highly-colored romance." 



A JfiailLY-COLORED liOMANCE. 

A pink of rare perfection she, 

The belle of eill the town ; 
Though Ben oft wished her Olive Green, 

Instead of Olive Brown. 

And she loved Ben, and said that nought 

Should mar their joy serene ; 
And, when she changed from Olive Brown, 

'T would surely be to Green. 

She kept her word in-violet, 

And vowed, ere she was wed, 
Although when Brown she had Be(e)n Green, 

When Green she'd be well read. 

But, ah ! her young affections changed 

To Gray, a Southern fellow ; 
And Green turned white the news to heaV, 

Though first it made him yell, oh ! 

19 



A HIGHLY-COLORED ROMANCE. 

Says he, " How can you lilac this, 
When you vowed to he true ? 

I'll take your fine young lover, Gray, 
And heat him till he's hlue." 

Then Olive Brown to crimson turned. 
And said, " Do as you say : 

The country long has wished to see 
' The Blue combined with Gray.' " 

Ben Green to purple turned with rage, 
And black his brow as night ; 

While on the cheek of Olive Brown 
The crimson changed to white. 

" O cruel Olive Brown ! " says Ben, 
" I've been dun-brown by you : 

Let this ' Grayback ' his steps retrace, 
And take Greenback, — oh, do!" 

20 



A IIIGnLY-COLOBED ROMANCE. 

Poor Olive Brown, what could she say, 

To sea-Green look so sad ? 
And so she rose, and said to him, 

" I'll go and ask my dad," 

The years rolled by: Ben's raven locks 

For silver did not lack ; 
And Olive, with her hair of gold. 

Was glad she took Greenback. 



'' '--J 




21 



TO BARY JADE. 



The bood is beabig brighdly, love ; 

The sdars are shidig too ; 
While I ab gazig dreabily, 

Add thigkig, love, of you. 
You caddot, oh ! you caddot kdow, 

By darlig, how I biss you — 
(Oh, wliadt a fearful cold I've got ! 

Ck-tish-u ! Ck-ck-tish-\i !) 

I'b sittig id the arbor, love, 
Where you sat by by side, 

Whed od that calb, autubdal dight 
You said you'd be by bride. 

22 




" Ko-rash-ol — there it is agaid, — 
Ck-thranh-uh ! Ck-ck-tish-u ! " — Page 26. 



TO BABY J ABE. 

Oh ! for Wild bobedt to caress 
Add tederly to kiss you ; 

Budt do ! we're beddy biles apart 
(YLo-rash-o ! Ck-c\-tish-\x !) 



This charbig evedig brigs to bide 

The tibe whed first we bet : 
It seebs budt odly yesterday ; 

I thigk I see you yet. 
Oh! tell me, ab I sdill your owd? 

By hopes — oh, do dot dash theb ! 
(Codfoud by cold, 'tis gettig worse — 

Ck-tish-u ! Ck-ok-tkrash-eh !) 

Good-by, by darlig Bary Jade ! 

The bid-dight hour is dear ; 
Add it is hardly wise, by love, 

For be to ligger here. 

25 



TO BABY J ABE. 

The hea\7 dews are fallig fast : 
A fod good-dight I wish you. 

{YLo-rash-o ! — there it is agaid - 
Ck-thrash-uh ! Ck-ck-^isA-u !) 




26 




THE PUZZLED DUTCHMAN. 



I'm a proken-heai-ted Deutscher, 
Vot's villed mit crief und shame. 

I dells you vot der di'ouple ish: 
I doosrit know my name. 

27 



THE PUZZLED DUTCHMAN. 

You dinks dis fery vunny, eh ? 

Ven you der schtory hear, 
You vill not yonder den so mooch, 

It vas so schtrange und queer. 

Mine moder had dwo leedle twins ; 

Dey vas me und mine broder : 
Ve lookt so fery mooch ahke. 

No von knew vich vrom toder. 

Yon off der poys vas " Yawcob," 
Und " Hans " der oder's name : 

But den it made no tifferent ; 
Ve both got called der same. 

Veil ! von off us got tead, — 
Yaw, Mynheer, dot ish so ! 

But vedder Hans or Yawcob, 
Mine moder she don'd know. 

28 



TUE PUZZLED DUTCHMAN. 

Und SO I am in droiiples : 
I gan't kit droo mine hed 

Vedder Tm Hans vofs lifing, 
Or Ymvcob vot is tead ! 




29 




L-E-G ON A MULl:. 



Dm you hoar of tlic accident, just t'other day, 
That occurred to a youtli of tlic^ Y. INI. C. A.? 



One morniu;^, while walking out with his friend 

Neff,— 
M. W. (i. M. of tlie T. O. O. 1\,— 

30 



L-E-G ON A MULE. 

II is friend exclaimed suddenly, " Look there, I 

say ! 
There's a chance for tiie 8. V. V. (). C. T. A. ! " 



A " broth of a boy," who was just from a spree, 
Was cruelly beating his m-u-l-e. 

Our hero stepped up to expostulate, when 
The mule kicked his a-b-d-o-m-e-n. 

This doubled him up with a half-muttered phrase, 
As foot No. 2 knocked him e-n-d-ways. 

They bore him home gently, as gently could be, 
And gave him a pint of hot 1-oo-t. 

A voltaic plaster they placed, sans delay. 
Where that treacherous mule left his m-a-r-k. 

31 



L-E-G ON A MULE. 

A hip dislocated ; a general jar ; 
Striking proofs of " one-mule p-o-w-e-r." 

When the patient fii'st spoke, what d'ye s'pose he 

did say, — 
This model Y0im2r man of the Y. M. C. A. ^ 

Says he, " I'll be b-1-o-w-e-d 

If ever I'll plead for a m-u-l-e ! " 




32 




ECONOMY. 



" There's nothing like economy," 
I heard a chap remark, 

Who, judging by his tout ensemble, 
Had issued from the ark. 

33 



ECONOMY. 

lie was a most peculiar man, 
With visage wan and tliin, 

And licpiid drops of amber hue 
A-trickhng down liis chin. 

" They tell us it's extravagant," 

lie added Avitli a slirug, 
As he deposited a quid 
'Within his spacious " mug," — 

" They tell us it's extravagant, 
This ' chewini^- of the weed ; ' 

Ihit only use ' economy,' 
You'll never he in need. 

" And this is how to practise it 
C/liew your tobacco well, 

Using a little at a time, — 
It nat'rally will swell ; 

84 



ECONOMY 



" Then take the quid and dry it, sir ! " 
'Twas thus the fellow spoke, — 

" And, when you want a quiet whifF, 
Put in your pipe, and smoke. 

" And, stranger, after doing this, 

If you are fond of snuff, 
The ashes that are left behind 

Will serve you well enough. 

" And thus," said this peculiar man 

(I fear he did but joke,) 
" If you will follow my advice, 

It will not end in smoke.'' 



35 



PATS CRITICISM. 



There's a stoiy that's old, 
But good if twice told, 

Of a doctor of limited skill, 

Who cured beast and man 
On the " cold-water plan," 

Without the small help of a pill. 

On his portal of pine 
Hung an elegant sign, 
Depicting a beautiful rill, 

36 




" Pat, how is that for a sii(ii '? " — tage 39. 



PAT'S CRITICISM. 



And a lake where a sprite, 
With apparent dehght, 
Was sporting in sweet dishabille. 



Pat McCarty one day, 

As he sauntered that way, 

Stood and gazed at that portal of pine ; 
When the doctor with pride 
Stepped up to his side, 

Saying, " Pat, how is that for a sign ? " 



" There's wan thing," says Pat, 

" Ye've lift out o' that, 
Which, be jabers ! is quoite a mistake : 

It's trim, and it's nate ; 

But, to make it complate, 
Ye shud have a foine burd on the lake.' 

39 



PAT'S CRITICISM. 

" Ah ! indeed ! pray, then, tell, 

To make it look well. 
What bird do yon think it may lack ? " 

Says Pat, " Of the same 

I've forgotten the name, 
But the song that he sings is ' Quack ! quack ! ' " 




40 



RAVENOUS BILL. 



On ! a terrible glutton was " Ravenous Bill," 
Mate of the good ship " Whippoorwill ; " 
And seldom it was he could get his fill ; 
A fact he oft would mention. 

And many a time, when eating his beef, 
Would the captain tell him to "take a reef;" 
But to such requests he ever was " deaf," 
This being a bone of contention. 

41 



HA VENOUS BILL. 



lie C'IioiiUhI tlio sailors out of tlioir \mY^, 
Nor left c'cn a scrap for the captaiifs do<>- : 
lie was such a gourinaiui and terrible " lio^,' 
That he'd " eat you out of your house 




lie tlioui^ht no more of a leu^ of ham, 
A peck of ])otatoes, and shoulder of lamb, 
With all the " fixiu's," — wine, jellies, and jam,- 
'J'hau a cat would think of a mouse. 

42 



JtAVENOUS BILL. 

At length, on distant Southern sands 
The vessel was stranded ; and all the hands 
Were captured by some of the savage bands 
Who lived on that foreign coast. 




Poor Bill was taken among the rest, 

And became at once a cannibal's guest ; 

(No pleasant position, it must be confessed, 

To wake up some morning already " di'cssed " 

For a native's " fancy roast.") 
43 



RAVENOUS BILL. 

For want of rations Bill had grown thin, 
Nothing, in fact, but bones and skin ; 
And his lioathcn master (as ugly as sin, 
'Vo iind lie'd so badly been " taken in") 
Devised a horrible plan. 




To wit: a bamboo cage he'd make, 
And put in IJill, with a monstrous snake 
Called th(^ anaconda, that could easily " tak(^ 
Most any " reasonable " man. 

44 



BAVENOUS BILL. 

At last 'twas finished, — the cage was done ; 
The snake was captured, — a monstrous one : 
The natives assembled to see the " fun," 
And " settle their Bill,'' they said, as a pun. 
Referring to the " collation." 




Oui- hero was thrust into the cage 
Where the snake was coiling itself with rage, 
Eager and waiting its prey to engage, — 
An engaging occupation. 

45 



HA VENOUS BILL. 

As Hill and the snake met face to face, 
1 le was folded at once in its close embrace ; 
And the natives, thinking he'd " ran his race," 
Began on his fate to ponder ; 




"Wluui — what d'ye suppose first met their eyes ? 
As the dust from the scene did slowly rise, 
They fonnd that l^ill, to their great surprise, 
Had — SWALLOWED THE anaconda! 

4(! 



SHONNY SCHWARTZ. 



Haf you seen mine leedlc Slionny, — 

Slionny Schwartz, — 

Mit his hair so soft uiid yellow, 

Und his face so hlump uiid mellow ; 

Sooch a funny leedlc fellow,— 

Shonny Schwartz ] 

Efry mornings dot young Shonny — 

SLjnny Schwartz — 

Rises mit dcr preak off day, 

Und does his chores oup righdt avay ; 

For he gan vork so veil as blay, — 

Shonny Schwartz. 

47 



SnONNY SCHWABTZ. 

Mine Katrina says to Shoniiy, 

" Slioniiy Schwartz, 
J I ell) your baronts all you gan, 
For (lis life vas bud a sliban : 
Py uiid py you'll been a man, 

Slionny Schwartz." 



1 low I lofes to see dot Shonny — 

Shonny Schwartz 

Vlien he schgampers off to schgool, 

Vhere he alvays minds dor rule ! 

For he vas nopody's fool, — 

Slionny Schwartz. 



TTow T vish dot leedle Shonny — 

Shonny Schwartz 
Could remain von leedle i)oy, 

48 



SnONNT SCHWARTZ. 

Alvays full off life und shoy, 
Und dot Time vould not annoy 

Shonny Schwartz ! 

Nefer mindt, mine leedle Shonny, — 

Shonny Schwartz • 
Efry day prings someding new : 
Alvays keep dcr righdt in view, 
Und baddle, den, your own canoe, 

Shonny Schwartz. 

Keep her in der channel, Shonny, — 

Shonny Schwartz : 

Life's voyich vill pe quickly o'er ; 

Und den ubon dot bedder shore 

Ve'll meet again, to hart no more, 

Shonny Schwartz. 



49 




A TALE OF A NOSE. 



'TwAS a hard case, that which happened in T.ynn. 
Haven't heard of it, cli ? Well then, to begin. 
There's a Jew down there Avhom they call " Old 

Mose," 
Who travels abont, and buys old clothes. 

50 



A TALE OF A NOSE. 

Now Mose — which the same is short for Moses - 

Had one of the biggest kind of noses : 

It had a sort of an instep in it, 

And he fed it with snuff about once a minute. 



One day he got in a bit of a row 

With a German chap who had kissed his frmt, 

And, trying to punch him a la Mace, 

Had his nose cut off close up to his face. 

He picked it up from off the ground, 
And quickly back in its place 'twas bound, 
Keeping the bandage upon his face 
Until it had faMy healed in place. 

Alas for Mose ! 'Twas a sad mistake 
Which he in his haste that day did make ; 
For, to add still more to his bitter cup, 
He found he had placed it lormig side tip. 

51 



A TALE OF A NOSE. 

" There's no great loss without some gain ; 
And Moses says, in a jocular vein, 
He arranged it so for taking snufF, 
As he never before could get enough. 



One thing, by the way, he forgets to add. 
Which makes the arrangement rather bad 
Although he can take his snufF with ease, 
He has to stand on his head to sneeze ! 




52 




TO A DRESSMAKER. 



Oh! wherefore bid me leave thy side, 

Dear Polly? I would ask. 
How can I all my feelings cloak 

When in thy smiles I basque ? 
Nay, " Polly-nay," I cannot go ! 

Oh ! do not stand aloof, 
When of my Avarm affection 

You possess, oh, wat-er-proof ! 

53 



70 A DRESSMAKKIl. 

A\'liy will yon tlins my feelings gore 

jjy sciuliiig mo away? 
You know it's wrong, of corset is, 

Tims to forhid my stay. 
It seams as though some fell disease 

Was gnawing at my h(>art, 
And hem-oi-iliag(> would soon ensue 

If we, perchance, should part. 

Then waist the precious time no more, 

l)ut k^t the parson tic us 
Sew firmly that the marriage-knot 

Shall never bt; cut bias. 
In jX'acefu] (luietude we'll float 

On life's unruffled tid(^, 
Nor let the bustle of the world 
" Pull-back " as on we glide. 



64 



YANKEE SHREWDNESS. 



In a little country village, 

Not many years ago, 
There lived a real " live Yankee," 

Whom they called " Old Uncle Snow." 

In trade he had no equal ; 

And storekeepers would say, 
" We're always ' out of pocket ' 

When Snow comes round this way." 

55 



YANKEE SHREWDNESS. 

'Twas the custom of the villagers — 
Few of them being rich — 

To trade theu- surplus " garden-sass " 
For groceries and " sich." 

One store supplied the village 
With goods of every kind, 

Including wines and liquors 
Foi; those that way inclined. 

A counter in the " sample-room " 

Was fixed up very neat ; 
And after every " barter-trade " 

The storekeeper would " treat." 

Old Snow brought in, one morning, 
An e^^ fresh from the barn, 

And said, " Give me a needle : 
My Avoman wants to darn." 

5(3 




" Give me another needle, 'Squire; 
This egg's the same as two! " — Page 60. 



YANKEE SHBEWDNESS. 

The trade was made : the storekeeper 

Asked him to take a drink. 
" I'll humor him," he said, aside, 

As the lookers-on did wink. 

" Don't care, naow, ef I do," says Snow ; 

" And, as your goin' to treat. 
Just put a leetle sugar in, — 

I like my liquor sweet. 

" And, say, while you're about it, — 
Though I don't like to beg, — 

'Twill taste a leetle better 
If you di-op in an egg.'' 

" All right, friend," says the grocer, 

Now being fakly " caught," 
And cU'opped into the tumbler 

The egg that Snow had brought ! 

59 



YANKEE SHREWDNESS. 

The egg contained a double yolk. 

Says Snow, " Here, this won't do 
Give me another needle, 'Squire ; 

This egg's the same as two ! " 




60 



LOGIC. 



'Tis strange, but true, that a common cat 
Has got ten tails, — just think of that ! 

Don't see it, eh? The fact is plain: 
To prove it so I rise t'explain. 

We say a cat has but one tail : 
Behold how logic lifts the veil ! 

No cat has nine tails : don't you see 
One cat has one tail more than she ? 

61 



LOGIC. 

Now add the one tail to the nine, 
You'll find a full ten-tailed feline. 

As Holmes has said, in his " Onc-Hors(b Shay,' 
Logic is logic ; that's all I say. 




fi2 




DER DRUMMER. 



Who puts oup at der pest hotel, 
Und dakes his oysders on der schell, 
Und mit der frauleins cuts a schwell 'i 
Der drummer. 

03 



DER DRUMMER. 

Who vas it gomes indo mine sclitore, 
Drows down his pundles on dcr yloor, 
Und nefcr schtops to shut der door \ 
Der di'ummer. 




^-tSc.---: 



Who dakes me py del* handt, und say, 
" Hans PfeifFer, how you vas to-day ? " 
Und goes for peesness righdt avay ? 
Der drummer. 

64 



DEB DRUMMER. 

Who shpreads lys zamples in a trice, 
Und dells me, " Look, imd see how nice"? 
Und says I gets " der bottom price " ? 
Der drummer. 




Who dells how sheap der goots vas bought, 
Mooch less as vot I gould imbort, 
But lets dem go as he vas " short " \ 
Der drummer. 

G5 



DEli DRUMMER. 

Who says dcr tings va§ eggstra vine, — 
" Vrom Sharmany, ubon der Rhino," — 
Und shoats mc den dimes oudt off nine ? 
Der di'ummer. 




AVho variants all der goots to suit 
Der gustomers ubon his route, 
Und ven dey gomes dey ^as no goot ? 
Dcr drummer. 

66 



BER DEUMMEE. 

Who gomes aroiindt von I been oudt, 
Drinks oiip mine bier, and eats mine kraut, 
Und kiss Katrina in dor mout'? 
Der drummer. 




-^^^^ 



Who, ven he gomes again dis vay, 
Vill hear vot Pfeiffer has to say, 
Und mit a plack eye goes avay ] 
Der drummer. 

07 




REPARTEE. 



One Mr. B , 

A joker he, 
While ill a jovial mood, 

Tried to explain 

To neighbor N 

A joke which he thought good. 



REPARTEE. 

Ilis hearer, NefF, 

Was very deaf, 
And couldn't catch the joke ; 

Whereat B smiled, 

Though slightly "riled," 
And thus to him he spoke : — 

" 'Tis plain to me 

As A B C, 
My dear friend, Mr. NefF! " 

"Oh, yes! but then," 

Says Mr. N , 

"You know Tm D E F!" 



fep^ 




FRITZ UND I. 



Mynheer, blease hell^ a boor oldt man 
Vot gomes vrom Sharmany, 

Mit Fritz, mine tog, und only freund, 
To goep me gompany. 

70 



FRITZ UND I. 

I haf no geld to puy mine pread, 

No blace to lay me down ; 
For ve vas vanderers, Fritz iind I, 

Und sdrangers in der town. 

Some beoples gife us dings to eadt, 
Und some dey kicks us oudt, 

Und say, " You don'd got peesnis here 
To sdi'oll der sclitreets aboudt ! " 

Vot's dot you say ? — you puy mine tog 

To gife me pread to eadt ! 
I vas so boor as nefer vas, 

But I vas no " tead peat." 

Vot, sell mine tog, mine leedle tog, 

Dot voUows me aboudt, 
Und vags his dail like anydings 

Vene'er I dakes him oudt ? 

71 



FIUTZ UND I. 

Schust look at him, imd see him schump ! 

lie hkes mo pooty veil ; 
Und dcre vas somedings 'bout dot tog, 

Mynheer, I voiddn't sell. 

" Der collar ? " Nein : 'tvas someding else 

Vrom vich I goiild not bart ; 
Und, if dot ding vas dook avay, 

I dink it prakes mine heart. 

" Vot vas it, den, aboudt dot tog," 
You ashk, " dot's not vor sale 1 " 

I dells you vot it ish, mine freuiid : 
'Tish der vag oif dot tog's dail ! " 



72 




"Schiist look at him, und see him schump! 
He lilies me pooty veil." — Page 72. 



INTEMPERANCE. 



Of all the vices in our land 

Which we have reason most to dread, 
Intemperance, the country's curse, 

In bold relief stands at the head. 

In every sphere its steps we trace, — 
In lowly cot and mansion tall : 

Alike on young and old it preys, 
Bringing its share of woe to all. 

Men who could face the fiercest foe 
Unmoved, midst battles' loudest roar, 

Cannot the wine-cup's charm resist. 
Nor boldly pass the dram-shop's door. 
75 



INTEMPERANCE. 

A mother's and a father's love 

Cannot the drunkard's course control: 

His every wish, his every thought, 
Is centred in the flowing bowl. 

Even the gentle, loving wife, 

To whom he vowed eternal love. 

And chilchen, with then* tearful prayers. 
Fail his besotted heart to move. 

Men of Columbia, are you slaves, 
A galling yoke like this to wear? 

King Alcohol hurl from his throne, 
And place a Aviser monarch there. 

Then shall your loved ones' prayers be heard, 
A country's blessing be your prize ; 

While He who sits enthroned above 
Shall smile on you from out the skies. 

76 




LITTLE TIM'S REVENGE. 



" Little Tim " was the name of him 
Of whom I have to tell ; 
And he abode on the Western road, 
In the busy town of L . 

77 



LITTLE TIM'S REVENGE. 

As trains went down through the little town, 

lie peddled through the cars 
His stock in trade, — iced lemonade, 

Cake, peanuts, and cigars. 

Conductor Dunn was the only one 

Who'd not this trade allow ; 
And so 'twixt him and little Tim 

There always was a row. 

At last one day they had a fray ; 

And Timothy declared 
He'd " fix old Dunn, ' as sure's a gun,' " 

If hoth then' lives were spared. 

So off he w^ent with this intent. 

And sold his stock in trade : 
His earnings hard he spent for lard, 

And started for " the grade." 
78 



LITTLE TIM'S REVENGE. 

(This place, you know, is where trains go 

Upon the steep hillside, 
And where — with lard — it isn't hard 

To get up quite a slide.) 




He took a stick, and spread it thick, 

Remarking with a smile, 
" There'll be some fun when Mr. Dunn 

Commences to ' strike ile ' ! " 

79 



LITTLE TIM'S REVENGE. 

He lay in wait : the train was late, 

And came a-puffing hard, 
With heavy load, right up the road 

To where he'd spread the lard. 

They tried in vain : that fated train 
Could not ascend the grade : 

The Avheels would spin with horrid din ; 
Yet no advance was made. 

Then little Tim — 'twas bold in him — 

Cried out in accents shrill, 
" Remember me^ Conductor D., 

When you get up the hill ! " 

MORAL. 

Success in trade is up a grade 

That we should all ascend. 
And with a will help up the hill 

Our fellow-man and friend. 

80 



LITTLE TIM'S EEVENGE. 

When " on the road," don't incommode 

The seeker after pelf, 
Or ten to one, like Mr. Dunn, 

You'll not get up yourself. 




81 




DOT BABY OFF MINE. 



Mine cmcioiis ! mine cracious ! shust look here 

uiid see 
A Deutscher so habby as habby can pe ! 
Der beoples all dink dot no ])rains I haf got ; 
Vas gra/y mit trinking, or someding like dot : 
Id vasn't pecausc I trinks lager vmd vine ; 
Id vas all on aggount off" dot baby off mine. 

82 



DOT r.ABY OFF MINE. 




Dot schmall leedle vellow I dells you vas qveer; 
Not mooch pigger roiindt as a goot glass off 

peer ; 
Mit a bare-footed lied, und nose but a schpeck ; 
A mout dot goes most to der pack off his neck ; 
Und his leedle pink toes mit der rest all 

combine 
To gif sooch a charm to dot baby off mine. 

83 



DOT r,A II Y OFF MINE. 




I (l('lls you dot biihy vas von off dcr poys, 
llnd boats Iccdlc Yawcob for making a noise. 
He shust has pccun to shbcak goot English 

too ; 
Says " Mamma " nnd " Papa," und somedimes 

" All, goo ! " 

You don'd find a baby den dimes oudt off nine 

Dot vas (^vitc so schmart as dot baby off mine. 

84 



DOT BABY OFF MINE. 




He grawls der vloor ofer, und drows dings 

aboudt, 
Und poots eferyding he can find in his mout ; 
He dumbles der shtaii's down, und falls vrom 

his chair, 
Und gifes mine Katrina von derrible sckare. 
Mine hair shtands like shquills on a mat borcubine 
Yen I dinks off dose pranks off dot baby off mine. 

85 



DOT BABY OFF MINE. 




Dcrc vas someding, you pet, I don'd likes pooty veil, 
To hear in dcr nighdt dimes dot young Deutscher 

yell, 

Und dravel der ped-room midout many clo'os, 
Vhile dor chills down der slipinc off mine pack 

quickly goes : 
Docs leedle shimnasdic dricks vasn't so fine 
Dot I cuts oup at nighdt mit dot baby off mine. 

86 



DOT BABY OFF MINE. 




Veil, dese leedle schafers vas going to pe men, 
Und all off dese droubles vill peen ofer den : 
Dey vill vear a vhite shirt- vront inshtead off a bib, 
Und vouldn't got tucked oup at nighdt in deir crib. 
Veil, veil, ven I'm feeble, und in life's decline, 
May mine oldt age pe cheered py dot baby off 
mine ! 

87 




JOHN BARLEY-CORN, MY FOE. 



John Barley-Corn, my foe, John, 
The song I have to sing 

Is not in praise of yon, John, 
E'en though yon are a king. 

8S 



JOHN BARLEY-COEN, MY FOE. 

Your subjects they are legion, John, 

I find where'er I go : 
They wear your yoke upon then* necks, 

John Barley-Corn, my foe. 



John Barley-Corn, my foe, John, 

By your despotic sway 
The people of our country, John, 

Are suffering to-day. 
You lay the lash upon their backs ; 

Yet willingly they go 
And pay allegiance at the polls, 

John Barley-Corn, my foe. 

John Barley-Corn, my foe, John, 
You've broken many a heart. 

And caused the bitter tear, John, 
From many an eye to start, 

89 



JOHN BARLEY-CORN, MY FOE. 

The widow and the fatherless 

From pleasant homes to go, 
And lead a life of sin and shame, 

John Barley-Corn, my foe. 

John Barley-Corn, my foe, John, 
May Heaven speed the hour, 

When Temperance shall wear the crown 
And Rum shall lose its power ; 

When from the East unto the AVest 
The people all shall know 

Their greatest curse has been removed, 
John Barley-Corn, my foe ! 



^^c^coi^:^ 



90 



HANS AND FRITZ. 



Hans and Fritz were two Deutschers who lived 

side by side, 
Remote from the world, its deceit and its pride : 
With then- pretzels and beer the spare moments 

were spent, 
And the fruits of their labor were peace and 

content. 

Hans purchased a horse of a neighbor one day, 
And, lacking a part of the Geld, — as they say, — 

91 



Ily\NS AND FU/TZ. 

IVIiidc a call iipori 1^'rit/ to solicit a loan 
'I'o li('l|) liirn to ])ay for his Ix-aiitiful roan. 

I'Vitz kindly ronsontod tlio nionoy to loud, 
And f^avc tlio rcHjiiircd amount to liis fViond ; 
R(^miirkiii<z;, — his own sirn])lo language to quote, — 
" l)Cih;i])s il vas hedder ve make us a not(>." 

'Vhc note was drawn np in their primitiAe way, — 
"I, Hans, gets i'rom I'Vitz feefty tollars to-day;" 
AVlien the (piestion arose, Ihe note IxMiig made, 
" Vieh \on holds dot haper nnlil it vas haid?" 

" Yon geeps dot," says Fritz, " und den you vill 

know 
You owes nie dot money." Says TFans, "Dot ish so: 
Dot makes me remempcn's I haf dot to bay, 
Und T ])rings you der note und der money some 

day." 

02 



«IU. 



r^' 







V r.. 






£, If}'- ■•1p^^^^^^%t^^^fcw^,-i%'^' 




" When the questioH arose, the note being made, 

' Vich von holds dot baper until it vas baid.' " — Page 92. 



HANS AND FRITZ. 

A month had expired, when Hans, as agreed, 
Paid back the amount, and from debt he was 

freed. 
Says Fritz, " Now dot settles us." Hans repUes, 

" Yaw : 
Now wlio dakes dot baper accordings by law \ " 

"I geeps dot now, aind't it?" says Fritz; "den, 

you see, 
I alvays remempers you baid dot to me." 
Says Hans, " Dot ish so: it vas now shust so blain, 
Dot I knows vot to do ven I porrows again." 



95 



■i^J-^ 




SEQUEL TO THE "ONE-HORSE SHAY." 



Doubtless my readers all have heard 
Of the " AYonderful oiie-liorse shay " 

That " Avent to pieces all at once " 
On the terrible carthqnake-day. 

9<3 



SEQUEL TO THE ''ONE-HORSE SHAY:* 

But did they ever think of the horse, 

Or mourn the loss of him, — 
The " ewe-necked bay " (who drew the " shay "), 

So full of life and vim? 

He was a wonderful nag, I'm told. 

In spite of his old " rat-tail ; " 
And, though he always minded the rein^ 

He laughed at the snow and hail. 

He had the finest stable in town. 

With plenty of oats and hay ; 
And to the parson's oft " Hud-dup " 

He never would answer neigh. 

To the parson's shay he was ever true, 
Though her other felloes were tired: 

To live and die with his fiancee 
Was all that his heart desired. 

97 



SEQUEL TO THE '' ONE-HOBSE SHAY." 

lie was much attached to his ancient mate ; 

So the parson " hitched them together ; " 
And, when they went on then* bridle tour, 

His heart was hght as a feather. 

We all remember her awful fate, 

On that sad November day, 
When nothing remained but a heap of trash, 

That once was a beautiful shay. 

Oh ! what could stir-up the equine breast 
Like this fearful, harrowing blow. 

Which put a check on his happiness. 
And filled his heart with w{li)oa. 

As he wheeled about, a shaft of pain 

Entered his faithful breast, 
As he there beheld the sad remains 

Of her whom he loved the best. 



SEQUEL TO THE ''ONE-HORSE SHAY." 

With a sudden bound and fearful snort, 
He sped away like the wind ; 

And a fact most queer I'll mention here, 
No traces were left behind. 




9& 



WOMAN. 



What is it makes a woman? 

A wealth of wavy haii-, 
A brow of Parian whiteness, 

And eyes Hke diamonds rare ? 

Is it checks that shame the roses, 
And Hps hke cherries, red, 

With teeth of pearly beauty. 
As the poet oft hath said? 

A tall and queenly creature. 
With a small and taper waist, 

A Juno or a Hebe, 

Who would a throne have graced? 
100 :. 



WOlfAN. 

My beau-ideal of woman 

Is a different being far ; 
And, if my views you wisli to hear, 

I'll tell you what they are. 

A heart that's warm and tender, 

A pure and holy mind ; 
A gentle, modest, loving one, 

Who is to others kind. 

The eye may lose its lustre, 
The cheek its rosy glow. 

The wavy hau' no more be seen 
O'er forehead white as snow. 

But the pure and gentle spirit 
Will e'er be fresh and bright : 

'Tis this that makes the woman. 
Kind reader, am I right? 

101 







ZWEI LAGI'R. 



Der night vas dark as anyding, 

Ven at mine door two vellcrs ring, 

Und say, vcn I ask who vas dhcrc, 

"Git ouj) und git" — und den dey schvear 



" Zwci lager." 



102 



ZWEI LAGEB. 

I says, " 'Tis late : schiist leaf mine house, 
Und don'd pe making sooch a towse ! " 
Dey only lauft me in der face, 
Und say, " Pring oudt, ' Old Scliweizerkase,' 

Zwei lager." 



I dold dem dot der bier vas oudt ; 
But dose two shaps set oup a shout, 
Und said no matter if 'tvas late. 
Dot dey moost haf " put on der schlate " 

Zwei lager. 



'• Oh ! go avay, dot is goot poys," 

Mine moder says, " und schtop der noise : " 

But sdill dem vellers yellt avay ; 

Und dis vas all dot dey vould say, — 



" Zwei lager, 



103 



ZWEI LAGER. 

" Vot makes you gome ^ " mine taughter said, 
" Von bcoplcs all vas in dcir pcd : 
Scliust gome to-morrow ven you're dhry." 
15ut dem two plackguards sdill did cry, 

" Zwei lager." 



" Vot moans you by sooch dings as dese ? 
I go und calls for der boleese," 
Says Sclineigelfritz, who lifs next door: 
Dcy only ycllt more as pefore, 

" Zwei lager." 



" You schust holdt on a leedle vliile, 
Says mine Katrina mit a sclimile : 
" T vix dose sliaps, you pet my life, 
So dey don'd ask off Ffeiffer's vife 



Zwei lager.' 



104 



ZWEI LAGER. 

Den righdt avay she got a peese 
Of goot und schtrong old Limburg cheese, 
Und put it schust outside der door ; 
Und den ve didn't hear no more 

" Zwei lager." 




105 




V ' '- W^' -,.; 



A TOUGH CUSTOMER. 



'Tis a story of a toper : 

I knew him passing well, — 

A shoemaker in Natick, 

Which is oftentimes called — well 

Of course you've heard the story ; 
So I will not stop to tell. 

lOG 



A TOUGH CUSTODIER. 

He was the hardest drinker 

For many miles around ; 
Though, as a waggish chap remarked, 

'-'■Hard di'inker ! I'll be bound 
He drinks about as easy 

As any man I've found ! " 

There chanced to be a "sample-room" 

Close by his little shop, 
In which, " just to be neighborly," 

He frequently would drop, 
And " take a little something warm," 

From gin to ffin-gev pop. 

One day he went as usual ; 

And, finding no one in, 
He spied upon the counter 

What he supposed was gin, 
And straightway took a " nipper " 

From the bottle it was in. 

107 



A TOUGH CUSTOMER. 

Surveying, a la connoisseur. 

The name the bottle bore, 
lie found 'twas aquafortis. 

Which he liad taken "raw," — 
" A brand," quoth he, " T ne'er did sec, 

And never draid<; before." 

Just then his neighbor happened in ; 
^ And, tremulous with fear, 
(The bottle told the story,) 

He asked if he felt queer, 
And if he'd have a doctor called, 

As one was living near. 

" Don't worry," said the shoemaker: 

" I'm all right, T believe. 
There's but one thing that's curious: 

I really can't conceive 
Why, when I wipe my mouth, it burns 

A /cole right through my sleeve I " 

108 



DOT POODLB DOG. 



Mine cracious, vot a gountiy, 
Und vot a beoplcs too ! 

I feel so bad, already, 
I don'd know vot to do. 

I had von Iccdlc poodle do^^, 
So handsome vot couldt been 

Und alvays, vheresoe'er I vent, 
Dot poodle dog vas seen. • 

109 



DOT POODLE BOG. 

He yoiist to vollow me aroiindt, 
In sclipite off rain unci hail ; 

Und, oh, der comfort vot I dook 
In der vag off dot dog's tail ! 

Von day I missed mine Schneider, 
(Dot vas der poodle's name ;) 

Und, though I vistled all aroundt. 
Dot poodle didn't came. 

I looked about der sausage-shops, 
(Vhere dey cut some vunny capers,) 

Und dold dot he vas schtrayed or stoldt 
In all der daily bapers. 

I hunted efery vhere aroundt, — 
Oup hill, und down der dale ; 

Und all der beoples lauft at me 
To hear dot poodle's tale. 



Mil' !;: 



I" H'«i:A 




^^•'Jj IJ 



" He used him vashing vindows ofE: 
Mine cracious, dot vas qveer! " — Page 113. 



DOT POODLE DOG. 

Von morning early I vas oudt, 

A valking cup der schtreet, 
Ven righdt avay I seen a sight 

Vot schtopped mine heart to beat. 

Mine cracious ! vot yon dink it vas 

Dot villed me mit surbrise? 
'Tvas leedle Schneider vot vas losht, 

Righdt dhere pefore mine eyes ! 

You know schust how id is myself 

Ven somedings stardt you, — amdt id I 

Veil, ven I saw dot poodle dog, 
Py shings ! I almost vainted ! 

A darky had him on a pole, 

Mit pails off vater near. 
He used him vashing vindoivs off: 

Mine cracious, dot vas qveer ! 

113 



DOT POODLE DOG. 



He dipped him righdt indo der pail, 



Schiist like he vas a rag 



Der life vas oudt off dot poodle dog ; 
Der tail had losht its vag ! 



.^^^^' 



y^~oxP ^ Tiy i nm sassjii:ii 



'"//, 



"", 



%, 




114 



MISPLACED SYMPATHY. 



Little Benny sat one evening, 
Looking o'er his picture-book : 

Suddenly his mother noticed 
On his face a troubled look. 

He was gazing on a picture, — 
" Christians in the early days," 

When the cruel tyrant Nero 
Harassed them in various ways. 

'Twas a family of Christians, 
Torn by lions fierce and wild, 

Li the horrible arena, 

Which had thus distressed the child. 

115 



MISPLACED SYMPATHY. 

Thinking it a golden moment 
To impress his youthful mind 

With our freedom, dearly purchased, 
And hy martyrs' blood refined. 

His good mother told the story 
Of their persecutions sore, 

While he listened, all attention. 
And the picture pondered o'er. 

" See, my child, those hungry lions, 
How upon the group they fall ! 

'Tis a sight, my precious darling. 
That the bravest might appall." 

Then, with little lip a-quiver, 

" Mamma, look ! " says little Benny 

" Little lion in the corner, 
Mamma, isnt gettm any ! " 

116 




"Little Hon in tlie corner, 
Mamma, isn't gettin' any!" — Page lis. 




VOT 1 LIKE UND DON'D LIKE. 



I don'd dink mooch off dose fine shaps 
Vot lofe aboudt dcr schtreet, 

Und nefer pays der landlady 
For vot dey liaf to eat ; 



119 



VOT I LIKE UND DON'D LIKE. 

Who gifes der tailor notings, 
Unci makes der laundress vait, 

Und liaf dcir trinks off lager bier 
All " put ubon der sclilate." 

I don'd dink mooch off vimmin, too, 

AVlio dink it vas deir " schpeer " 
To keep oup vine alDbearances, 

Und lif in "Grundy's" fear; 
Who dress demselves mit vine array 

To flirt ubon der schtreet, 
Und leaf deir moders at der tub 

To earn der bread dey eat. 

I don'd like men dot feel so pig 

Ven dey haf plenty ffeld, 
Who vas as Lucifer so broud, 

Und mit conceit vas schvelled. 

120 



VOT I LIKE UND DON'D LIKE. 

Who dinks more off cleir horse uu<l dog 

As off a man dot's poor, 
Und lets der schtarvmg und der sick 

Go hungry vrom der door. 

I don'd dink mooch off dem dot holdt 

So tight ubon a toUar, 
Dot, if 'tvas only shust alife, 

'Tvould make it shcream und holler. 
Vy don'd dey keep it on der move, 

Not hide avay und lock it ? 
Dey gannot take it ven dey die : 

Der shroud don'd haf a pocket ! 

I like to see a hand dot's brown, 

Und not avraid off vork ; 
Dot gifes to dose vot air in need, 

Und nefer tries to schirk : 

121 



VOr I LIKE UND DON'D LIKE. 

A man dot meets you mit a schmile, 

Und dakes you py der hand, 
Shust like dey do vherc I vas bom, 

In mine own vateiiand, — 

Vhere bier-saloons don'd keep a schlate ; 

Vhere tailors get deir pay, 
Und vashervimmin get der sclitamps 

For vork dey dake avay ; 
Vhere frauleins schtick righdt to der voik 

So schteady as a glock, 
Und not go schtrutting droo der schtreets 

Shust like a durkey-cock ; 
Vhere blenty und brosperity 

Schmile ubon efery hand : 
Dot ist der Deutscher s paradise ; 

Das ist das Vaterland. 



122 



THE WIDOW MALONE'S PIG. 



The Widow Malone had a beautiful pig ; 

No one had its equal from Cork to Killarney: 
And Paddy McCabe had his eye on the same ; 

A roguish chap he, full of mischief and blai'ney. 

This beautiful pig fau-ly haunted his dreams ; 
And he swore, that, unless he was sadly mis- 
taken, 
He would feast off his ribs upon St. Patrick's 
Day, 
And even the widow should not " save his 
bacon." 

123 



THE WIDOW MA LONE '8 PIG. 

One morning the widow went out to the pen, 
Pail in hand, with the first streak of dawn, 

When, lo ! it was vacant ; no piggy was there : 
The sweet little creature was gone ! 



Straightway to the priest for assistance she went, 
Who asked her the cause of her grief. 

" Och ! your riverince," says she, " 'tis me pig 
that is gone ! 
And I think Pat McCabe is the thief." 



Soon after Pat came to the priest to " confess, 
And told of his theft from the AVidow Malone. 

" Take it back," says the priest, " without any 
delay ! " 
" Sure I've ate it, your riverince ! " says Pat 



with a groan. 



124 




*' The Widow Malone had a beautiful pig; 
No one had its equal from Cork to Killarney." — Pace 123. 



TUE WIDOW M ALONE 'S PIG. 

"Ah, Pat!" says the priest, "at the great 'judg- 
ment-day,' 

When you meet the widow and pig face to face, 
What excuse will you give for your terrible sin? 

I'm thinking you'll go to a very bad place." 



"Will the widdy and pig both be there?" says Pat. 

"To be sure," says the priest, " to accuse you 
of sin." 
"Will, thin," replies Paddy, " I'll say,' Here si/aurpi^! 

By St. Patrick, I'll niver molist him agin ! ' " 



Jr. U 













:) 






121 




A TRAPPER'S STORY. 



" 'TwAS a moonlight nighit," the trapper began. 
As we lay by the bright camp-fire, — 

" Come, fill np your pipes, and pile on the brands, 
And gather a little nigher, — 

128 



A TBAPPER'S STORY. 

" 'Twas a moonlight night when Bet and I — 
Bet, she's the old mare, you know — 

Started for camp on our lonely route, 
O'er the di-eary waste of snow. 

" I had been to the ' clearing ' that afternoon 
For powder and ball, and whiskey too ; 

For game was plenty, furs in demand, 

And plenty of hunting and trapping to do. 

" I had no fear of the danger that lurked 
In the region through which my journey lay, 

Till Bet of a sudden pricked up her ears, 
And sniifed the ah* in a curious way. 

" I knew at once what the danger was 
As Bet struck out at a 'forty gait : 

'Twas life or death for the mare and me, 
And all I could do was to trust to fate. 

129 



A TEAPPEB'S STOBY. 



" Wolves on our track, ten miles from home ! 

A pleasant prospect that, — eh, boys? 
I could see them skulkmg among the trees, 

And the woods re-echoed then- hideous noise. 

" At last, as then* numbers began to swell, 
They bolder grew, and pressed us close : 
So ' Old Pdl- Driver ' I brought to bear, 
, And gave the leader a leaden dose. 

" Now, you must know, if you di'aw the blood 
On one of the sneaking, ravenous crew, 

The rest will turn on the double-quick. 
And eat him up without more ado. 

" This gave me a chance to load my gun, 
With just a moment to breathe and rest ; 

When on they came ! a-gaining fast. 
Though Bet was doing her level best, 

130 



A TRAPPER'S STORY. 

" I began to think it was getting hot. 

' Pill-Driver,' says I, ' this will never do : 
Talk to 'em again ! ' You bet she did ; 

And right in his tracks lay number two. 

" Well, boys, to make a long story short, 
I picked them off till but one was left ; 

But he was a whopper, you'd better believe, — 
A reg'lar mamnwth in size and heft. 

" Yes, he was the last of the savage pack ; 

For, as they had followed the nat'ral law, 
They had eaten each other as fast as they fell, 

Till all were condensed in his spacious maw.' 



133 



JOHNNY JUDKINS. 



Johnny Judkins was a vender 
Of a patent liquid blacking: 

Johnny Judkins he was witty, 

And for " cheek " he was not lackin": 



&• 



Johnny stood upon the corner, 
Selling polish day by day, 

And would "polish off" a party 
Who had any thing to say. 

134 



JOHNNY JUDEINS. 

Johnny's stereotyped expression 

Was, " Now, gents, at the beginnin' 

I would state this magic polish 
Will not soil the finest linen." 

Johnny then its other virtues 
llapidly would mention o'er, 

And would sell his gaping hearers 
From a dozen to a score. 

Hans von Puffer bought a bottle, 
Which upon his shiit-front white, 

As he used it without caution. 
Left a spot as black as night. 

Back to Johnny went Von Puffer, 
Saying, " Vot vas dot you zay? 

'Tvill not soil der vinest linen ? 
See mine shii't-vrond righdt avay ! 

135 



JOHNNY JUDKINS. 

" Vot vas dot ubon mine bosom ? 

Voii't you dold iiie, cf you blease ! 
Shust you gife me pack mine money, 

Or I goes vor der boleesc ! " 

Johnny looked upon the Deutsche!* 
With a bhmd and childhke smile ; 

Xhen upon the crowd before him, 
Who enjoyed the sport meanwhile. 

" Gentlemen," says Johnny Judkins, 
" As I said in the beginnin'. 

This 'ere patent liquid polish 
Will not soil the finest linen. 

" As for that," says Johnny Judkins,— 
Pointing where the spot of crock 

Showed upon Yon Puffer's bosom 
Like a black sheep in a flock, — 




" Vot vas dot uboii mine bosom ? 
Vou't you dold me, ef you blease! " — I'age 136. 



JOHNNT JUDKINS. 



" As for that," repeated Johnny, 
" If you call that Imen fine, 

I would merely say, my hearers. 
Your opmion is not mme." 

Johnny Judkins still continues 
Selling blacking by the ton. 

Hans von Puffer chalks that bosom 
Every time he puts it on. 




139 



THE LOST PET. 



On, list ! while I tell 

Of the fate that befell 
A pet that was dear unto me, — 

A black-and-tan pup. 

Oh ! bitter the cup 
Prepared by that " Heathen Chinee 

For me. 
The friend of those venders of tea. 

140 



THE LOST PET. 

This young black-and-tan 

Away from me ran, — 
An act which I did not foresee ; 

And, though I did seek 

For over a week 
To find him, it was not to be. 

You'll see, 
'Twas the work of that sinful Chinee. 



His name was Ah-Bet, 
(Not the name of my pet, 

But of him of Chinese pedigree ;) 
And he kept a small shop, 
And had the best " chop " 

Of tit-bits from over the sea, 
That he 

Obtained from his far-famed patrie. 

141 



TBE LOST PET. 

He had " cliow-cliow," that tickles 

The lover of pickles, 
Though with me it did never agree ; 

And things filled with spice, 

Which may have been mice, — 
They looked enough like them, — dear me ! 

To see 
Such food in the " land of the free." 



One day I'd a friend 

Who was coming to spend 
The day, and take dinner with me : 

So I went to Ah-Bet, 

And told him to get 
A rabbit " and fixin's ; " and he 

Said "Om*," 
In a manner quite Frenchy to see. 

142 



xllfe' 




"And brought to the light 
A tag, with inscription, 'Toby.' " 



— Page 145. 



THE LOST PET. 

The clock had struck one : 

The dinner was done, 
And served up with steaming Bohea. 

" 'Tis excellent fare, 

This rabbit, or hare. 
Whichever it may be," said he, 

(Mon ami:) 
" You've a prize in that Heathen Chinee." 



Just then in the dish 

I noticed him fish 
For something he thought he could see, 

That didn't look right ; 

And brought to the light 
A tag, with inscription, " Toby." 

Ah me! 
'Twas that of my lost fovori! 

145 



THE SOLDIER'S GRAVE. 



How many of our honored dead 

Now sleep beneath the Southern sod, 

With nought to mark theh restmg-place ; 
Theh graves unknown, except to God! 

Far from theh loving ones at home 

They died, theh country's flag to save, — 

That flag the emblem of the free, 

That struck the shackles from the slave. 

No loving mother's gentle hand 

Was there to hold the weary head ; 

No mourning friends assembled round 
The gallant soldier's dying bed. 

146 



THE SOLDIER'S GRAVE. 

The suit of blue his only slu'oud ; 

His funeral dirge the cannon's roar : 
There, where he fell, the soldier lay, 

His battles fought, his hardships o'er. 

Though flowers may not his grave adorn. 
Though loving friends may not be near, 

A country, Avhich he died to save. 
Will hold his memory ever dear. 




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ABIDE WITH ME. 

The favorite Sacred Song, by Rev. Hbnry Franos Lytk. With 
Full-page and Initial Illustrations, designed by Miss L. 15. Hum- 
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NEARER, MY GOD, TO THEE. 

The universal Praise Song, in Church and Home, by Sarah Flower 
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OH, WHY SHOULD THE SPIRIT OF MORTAL BE PROUD? 

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BALLADS OF BRAVERY. 

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LITTLE PEOPLE OF GOD, 

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ABIDE WITH ME. 

By Rev. HENRY FRANCIS LYTE. 

Illustrated from designs by Miss L. B. HUMPHREY. 

Small 4to, Gilt, Ornamental Covers, Price, $2. 

Uniform with the illustrated edition of 

NEARER, MY GOD, TO THEE, 

AND 

OH, WHY SHOULD THE SPIRIT OF MORTAL BE PROUD ? 

Its author was a highly educated clergyman of the Church of England, 
endowed with fine poetical gifts, who, after his conversion, desiring to 
glorify the Father by laboring for the poor, entered upon his mission 
with new views, new consolations, and a new zeal, consecrating all his 
powers, his service, and poetic gifts to religion. Gentle and childlike in 
spirit, he served faithfully till his death — which was that of a happy Chris- 
tian poet. Like George Herbert and Charles Wesley, he sang while his 
strength lasted, and then quietly waited, till, " rising from the sleep of death, 
he joined the hallelujahs of heaven." 

This poem was written under the following peculiar circumstances, — 
as related in " The Story of the Hymns : " — 

" It was the autumn of 1847 ; the gloom of winter was already settling 
upon the coast, and the pomps of decay tinging the leaves. The pastor, 
who was now preparing to leave the parish, and who seemed like one 
already hovering over the verge of the grave, determined to speak to his 
dear people once more, perhaps for the last time. He dragged his attenu- 
ated form into the pulpit, and delivered his parting discourse, while the 
great tears rolled down the hardy faces of the worshippers. He then ad- 
ministered the Lord's Supper to his spiritual children. Tired and exhaust- 
ed, but with his heart still swelling with emotion, he went home. The old 
poetic inspiration came over him, and he wrote the words and music of his 
last song. He had prayed that his last breath might be spent,' swan-like,' — 

' In songs that may not die,' — 
and this effort was to prove a literal answer to his prayer. The poem com- 
posed under these interesting circumstances was the well-known hymn- 
chant beginning, — 

'Abide with me: fast falls the eventide.'" 

Sold by all Booksellers, and sent by mail, postpaid, upon receipt of price. 

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fl^'Sol^b^ ol xAudtratious in " Abide witti Me." 




The darkness deepens ; 
Lord, with me abide ! 



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"JUST AS CUNNING AS SHE CAN BE," 

Says a mother of the little heroine of the new book, 

Child Marion Abroad, 

B'X" "VvT". lyC. I^. I^OTJI^^ID. 



An accomplished young lady has given her impressions of Europe in the 
fascinating volume, 

AN AMERICAN GIRL ABROAD. 



The witty and sharp-sighted matron, her views in the equally popular 

BEATEN PATHS. 



The man of letters, in the twin standard books of travel, 

OVER THE OCEAN, 

ABROAD AGAIN. 



And now little Miss America, bright, vivacious, and talkative as " Little 
Prudy," " Dotty Dimple," or " Flyaway," crosses the ocean, roams about 
London, interviews the ex-Empress Eugenie, visits General Garibaldi, con- 
verses with the Pope, skims on parlor skates about palaces, views the old 
world with childish wonder, and is petted as an American princess. It is 
a charming child's book that children of an older growth will chuckle over. 

Handsomely illustrated and richly bound. Price, ^1.25. 



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B O S T O IsT. 



Specimen of Illustrations in " Childe Marion Abroad." 




'THE FOUNTAIN OF TREVI. 



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A NEW BOOK FOR YOUNG GIRLS. 

QUINNEBASET GIRLS. 

" A new story of Girlhood." i2mo. Cloth. Illustrated. ?i.50. 

UNIFORM WITH THE 

doctor's daughter. 

Illustrated, ^i 50. 

" The ' Doctor's Daughter,' ',' says the Boston Transcript, " is a 
country story, bright as a sunbeam, natural as life itself, unpretending as 
real goodness, and salutary as the primal effect of pure spring water." 



OUR HELEN. 

Illustrated. $1.7$. 

" A story as delightful and captivating to adult readers as the ' Little 
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Dover Inquirer. 



ASBURY TWINS. 

Illustrated. $1.75. 
" A charming story, as Sophie May's stories always are." — Troy Press. 



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HERE'S ANOTHER, BOYS I 

The second book of " The Lucky Series." 

HIS OWN MASTER. 

BY J. T. TROWBRIDGE. 



A MOST DIVERTING BOOK FOR THE YOUNG. 

Full of incidents of extreme interest, many of which are of the most 
thrilling nature ; and no one can commence to become interested in poor 
Jacob's career without wishing to follow it to the end. The scene of 
action is laid on and near the Ohio River ; and many of the characters pre- 
sented, by their striking originality and rugged Westernisms, hold the atten- 
tion enchained from the first. Especially is this true of the quaint and 
warm-hearted peddler, 

sjLiv^ LonsrosHioi^E, 

who, by his intense application to the study of advanced science, frequently 
startles by his dogmatic assertions of physical and scientific laws ; also, the 
old aunt who believed in the 

"VARTEW OF EARTH TO CURE ALL DISEASES," 

and who consequently buried her nephew in the soft ground of her garden, 
where he had an interesting 

INTERVIEW WITH A SOW AND NINE PIGS. 

It is bright, interesting, full of spirited incidents, at times overflowing 
with rich humor, and one which boys and girls will delight to read. 

It teaches the habit of self-control, patience, and perseverance, and 
shows that by judicious employment of these virtues one can become 

Price: Cloth, $1; Paper, SO ets. 305 pages. 

The cloth edition contains many illustrations. 
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'THEY RODE SLOWLYV 



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BOYS, TOU'RE IN LUCK. 

The first book in the Lucky Series is 

"JUST HIS LUCK." 



A CAPITAL BOOK FOR BOYS. 

A book written with great spirit, abounding in those incidents and situ- 
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REAL FLESH AND BLOOD BOYS. 

What they did, and what happened to them, is related in this book of 
335 P^g6s, in a most graphic and vivid manner. The plot is ever-moving, 
full of surprises, and abounding in peculiar combinations. To unravel it is 
a treat ; and to become acquainted with the strongly-marked individuality of 
the personages introduced, is a pleasure to those who wish to study charac- 
ter. You yourself will read the book with interest ; your wife will like it ; 
it will please your sister ; and, if you give it to your mother, she will say, 

*'HOW LIKE THOSE BOYS!" 

Rest of the family will add, " It is excellent ! " while the young folks in 
particular will declare, " It's just splendid!" and will revel in its pages until 
they have read the last line. 

Price: Cloth, $1.00; Paper, SO cts. 335 pages. 

The cloth edition contains many illustrations. 



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POPULAR NEW BOOKS. 

OUR SPARKLING SERIES. 

Comprisinf; books of acknowledged merit, as their enormous sales testify. 
Publibhed uniformly. Paper, 50 cents. Cloth, gi.oo per volume. 

THAT HUSBAND OF MINE. 

The great success, which in two months reached a sale of i25,ocx} Copies, 
and IS still in active demand. 
THAT WIFE OF MINE. 

A companion volume to " That Husband," by the same author, just pub- 
lished, is equally attractive ; requiring 50,000 Copies to fdl orders received 
before its publication. 
THEY ALL DO IT. 

The Danbury News Man's new book, and decidedly his best. " Ripe in 
humorous wisdom and profitable fun." 40.000 Copies sold in three 
weeks, proves THEY ALL LIKE IT. 

SOMETHING BETTER 

Is the title of the next volume, and a story of deep interest, though in a dif- 
ferent vein from the preceding stories of the series. It will be sure to 
please; all the volumes of "'Ihe Sparkling Series" being selected with 
that purjjose. 
NOBODY'S HUSBAND. 

Follows ; and will, we are sure, prove himself an agreeable companion. This 
book has been advertised under the title of "Another Man's Wife," but 
the author has changed the title, in order to have it correspond better with 
the idea of the story. 

A PAPER CITY. 

By D. R. Locke (Rev Petroleum V. Nasby). Is one of the best efforts of 
this renowned humorist, satirist, and ch.iracter delineator. (In press.) 

OUR LUCKY SERIES. 

Comprising bright and sparkling stories for Yoimg People, by the best 
authors, is "designed to give the younger members of the family what 
" Our Sparkling Series " gives the older ones, — The Best at the 
LOWEST PRICE. Paper, 50 cents ; Cloth, Illust., fi.oo per volume. 

JUST HIS LUCK. 

The initial volume is bv a famous writer for the young, whose name is with- 
held for " Luck." it is a capital story, full of adventure, and with an 
excellent moral. 
BOUND IN HONOR 

Is by that popular writer, J. T. Trowbridge, and he has written nothing bet- 
ter. It is full of life and humor, and excellent teachings. 
HIS OWN MASTER 

Is also by J. T. Trowbridge. The publishers have secured these two enter- 
taining stories for " Our Lucky Series," and consider themselves " lucky " 
in being able to present the very best of this author's writings. 
THE SILVER-SEEKERS ; or, Hal and Ned in Sonora. 

By Samuel VVooDWORTH Cozzens. The author of " The Young Trail- 
Hunters," and "Among the Quicksands," has the reputation of being a 
capital story-teller ; and his long life among the red men of the West, and 
his adventures in hunting and trapping, give him an inexhaustible fund 
from which to draw tales of thrilling adventure and wonderful daring. 
This story is his best. 
^kW^ ■^ II tite hooks in this series will be by the best authors, of interest to both 
old and young, and, though never '' preachy,^' desigjted to inculcate both good 
morals and manners. Liberal discount to the trade for quantities. 

LEE &■ SHEPARD, PUBLISHERS, BOSTON. 




^\^? 

M 




